I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
