I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
