My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
