READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
