I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
