I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
