There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize