I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
