good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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