no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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