Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
