my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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