The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
