she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
