the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
