they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
