Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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