Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
