I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
