I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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