how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
