dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
