Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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