I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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