It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
