Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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