i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
