you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
