I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
