I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
