He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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