There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
