i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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