cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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