party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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