She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
