I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize