there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
