Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
