The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
