Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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