bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
