so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
