you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
