I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
