he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
