Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
