Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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