Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
