If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Did I show you my penis last night?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
