did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
