i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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