i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
