is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't turn off my feet"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
