Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
