she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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