I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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