I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
