And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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