K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
