it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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