small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
